


Forever and Ever

by silverdoll14



Series: Click [2]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-07 15:13:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4268073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdoll14/pseuds/silverdoll14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If he can wake up with this sight every morning, Sho has only one wish…"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is written in Sho’s perspective so this is some sort of Sho’s version of Will You Still Love Me Till Morning?

Sakurai Sho isn't blind. He may not be the most organized person, but he knows when he sees something is different or amiss. He’s been raised within a strict family where he needs to be proper most of the time, and it does a good job in keeping his eyes wide open for anything unusual. He's only human too, can make decisions, and he chooses to be blind when it comes to a certain guy named Matsumoto Jun...  _As much as it's cruel, he closes his eyes for Jun's love._  
   
He asks his self so many times, how can you live with this? When he thinks about how this setup has started, Sho will start to recoil in annoyance about the reason why. There shouldn’t be anything behind this after all. It is both curiosity and somewhat a need  _(and don’t forget the time of raging hormones when you will jump at anyone if time permits)_. He should know better because he’s older and wiser, yet still pressure has been far too great. He needs an outlet in a way, and Jun, sweet Jun has always been willing. Still,  _is this okay?_  
   
And then, he had seen it in Jun's eyes. Each of his glances is lingering to him like he is expecting. In all honesty, it isn't uncomfortable, but Sho knows better. He doesn't want more complications, and what he and Jun have is complicated enough.  
   
With his mind already set, he turns a blind eye on what he really sees, pretends that everything that happens is for casualty and pleasure. No, he won't look at Jun anything than a band mate, a friend, and maybe a brother like figure. That's a promise, but then maybe,  _promises were meant to be broken I guess._  
   
He is 23 and a degree holder. He should have known better than a-year-younger-than-him Jun, but it’s all useless when he had too many drinks already that night. He has definitely outdone his self with too much alcohol in his system. He’s thankful to Jun though for taking care of him, bringing him to the latter’s home rather than making him go home.  
   
It’s an ordinary night, but Sho doesn’t know whether it’s the humidity that makes him do it, to kiss Jun so suddenly. He knows it is sloppy and quite demanding, but he tries his best to be gentle as he coaxes Jun to open up with a lick in the younger male’s lower lip.  
   
There’s a hint of protest coming from Jun’s mouth, but Sho makes sure it doesn’t get out as his tongue engaged Jun’s in a battle of dominance, and traps the younger male between the wall and his body. In each swipe and exchange of saliva, no matter how disgusting it may sound, he gets excited. He loves the feeling of it because he can feel Jun going limp against him. It is like Jun is letting him to have his way on him, or so he thought.  
   
“Ow!” Sho yelps, backing out while holding his mouth after Jun has bitten his lower lip and causing blood. When Sho looks at Jun, the younger man only had a smirk on his face.  _I didn’t see that coming._  
   
“Sorry,” Jun says though, and suddenly grabs Sho’s wrist, guiding him to the younger male’s room after locking the door of the house’s front door.  
   
When they arrive, Sho sits at the foot of Jun’s bed with heavy lidded eyes, watching as Jun locks the room’s door. In all honesty, he’s only half awake, and he’s quite thankful Jun did bit his lower lip to keep him awake. The sting he felt from it keeps him away from completely dozing off at the wrong time. He doesn't want to miss this, and he is pleased when Jun pecks the bruised and licks it after straddling him.  _But still, it does hurt._  
   
Sho closes his eyes while humming in content, having both his hands in each side of Jun’s hips. He can feel Jun leaning closer, breathing him in before kissing him. The kiss turns deeper and deeper before Sho pulls back.  
   
“Hot.” He complains because everything is too hot now that Jun is too close. He feels another kiss before he feels Jun’s hands unbuttoning his shirt.  
   
“Too many clothes.” He hears Jun complaining, and Sho could only chuckle at that.  
   
It isn't clear whether they were in a hurry, or not. The way they discarded their clothes is the exact opposite of each movement coming next. It is slower, more sensual than their usual.  
   
Sho really like it when Jun peppers him with kisses in his upper body. There’s a swipe of tongue over his nipple, a kiss in his pierced belly button, which Jun tugs with his tongue, making him moan wantonly. And then, there’s a small bite in his navel line before he feels a breath against his hardened member. But when he felt a tentative lick afterwards, there’s just something that snaps in him, making him to stop Jun.  
   
“Jun.””  
   
As Jun looks up to him, Sho can see confusion in his face. He takes this chance to switch their places, making Jun underneath him.  
   
It isn’t their first, and Sho admits that he had been rough at Jun many times especially when quickies are needed in the middle of breaks while shooting variety shows and stuff. Yet for some reason, Sho can just stare at him, caressing Jun’s cheek with the back of his hand.  
   
“Sho?”  
   
Sho hears Jun’s call. Instead of replying, he kisses him deeply, and a hand around the latter’s shaft a moment later.  
   
Sho laps Jun’s throat when he penetrated the younger male with the first finger, loving the feeling of Jun against him when Jun arcs his back. He nips at Jun’s ear to distract the other as he goes deeper. He knows he is taking his time in preparing Jun despite knowing the latter isn’t virgin, and knowing Jun, the younger will be complaining by now. Before Jun does complain, he pushes in one go his length without a warning, getting a growl from Jun. It is slow at first, but he gradually sets his pace. He smiles against Jun’s neck when Jun wounds one leg around his torso, knowing he had hit his spot. He knows Jun wants it deeper. Sho holds him tighter then.  
   
There are pants and moans, groans and gasps, and things have started getting hazy, but Sho holds Jun firmer and closer as he could, holding the other like he is holding for his dear life and doesn’t want to let go. He goes on deeper and harder, kisses Jun in the side of his half-opened mouth, leaves a kiss in Jun’s collarbones and in his forehead because it just felt so right to be with Jun like this no matter what his mind is saying now.  
   
And when both know that they are in their peaks, they stare at each other as they release their own loads, Sho inside of Jun and the latter in between them.  
   
Sho stares at Jun, seeing how cute the younger is when he blinks his eyes. All Sho can do is lean in and peck the latter in the lips. It’s just a brush of lips, but Sho lingers there with a shaky breath. He can’t help but smile, goofily but contented until he finds his eyelids heavy, and he is becoming light-headed that he collapses. Maybe the alcohol and their recent activity has taken a toll on him already that he falls asleep in instant with Jun’s face as the last image in his mind.  
   
It is in the break of the dawn when he wakes up with a headache, feeling like being pounded by a hammer, but the sight in front of him works like a medicine, and Sho forgets how his head is aching. He ends up smiling as he sees how peaceful Jun is sleeping beside him, an arm loosely around his waist.  
   
If he can wake up with this sight every morning, Sho has only one wish, and he says it in a whisper,  _“Forever and ever.”_  
   
Sho realizes he has been staring at Jun and it makes him remember how he had been staring at the younger male last night, how his eyes are only locked at Jun, touches him so gentle and careful, and kisses him full of sweetness and warmth as much as he can convey. And then, Sho can still feel how right it is to have Jun’s body against him, and he had to hold unto him because he’s too precious to lose. Sho then realizes how last night had been different from their casual sex between friends because it’s like two people making love and  _being in love._  
   
Sho snaps out his reverie when a realization hits him. He instantly gets out of bed, but careful not to wake Jun up, gathering his clothes to wear them. When he is ready to go, he takes one last glance towards Jun’s sleeping form.  
   
_Yes, he is in love with Jun,_  but with a heavy heart, he still leaves before Jun wakes up. It is a clear sign that he can’t give in to his own wish no matter how much he wants to make it true.


	2. Chapter 2

For some reason, they have a mutual understanding that both of them needed a time out. Sho doesn’t know who started it, but when one backs off, the other naturally does too.  
  
It isn’t like they aren’t friends anymore. Maybe their relationship has changed. It’s less contact unless it is work related. Sho makes sure that Ma-chan becomes Matsumoto-san, and things between them are kept professional. Sho doesn’t have any say on it, and it seems Jun doesn’t mind it, so all is well right?  
  
In a way, the others don’t pry even if they know something have changed between him and Jun. Maybe it is better, but worried stares coming from Aiba and Ohno didn’t escape Sho’s attention especially when it is directed to their youngest member. It’s nothing compared to Nino’s unexplainable silence though.  
  
Sho knows Nino. Despite hating each other’s guts earlier in their junior days, he acknowledges Nino’s great perception. Seeing Nino not making any comment regards to the obvious development makes him restless.  
  
Still, he doesn’t ask Nino about it because he doesn’t know whether he’ll like what Nino has to say in this matter. Everything seems to be in the past now, and they are growing up in their own ways anyways.  
  
Sho has outgrown his little fuse when he thought everyone is his enemy and he has the burden of the world. Now, he can say he is calm and collected, knowing how to laugh at his own mistakes and to just keep on going. On the other hand, Jun has outgrown his phase when he is like a lost puppy, awkward and gangly. He stands on his own ground, proud, and confident. Yet as they grow up, the distance grows too.  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
It takes more or less two years before Sho gets used to it, and that being alone with Jun isn’t that awkward. They’re the two level-headed members out of Arashi, making them to connect in ways other might not understand. Jun asks him when it comes to their concert production, if they can do this, or do that. But sometimes, Sho still gets to do things that Jun has thought about, but he never got consulted about it. It isn’t that he is angry when Jun does that, but then it involves being suspended high in the air, and he entirely doesn’t agree with that  _(and Sho will think maybe this is some sort of Jun’s revenge on him)_. Still, Sho waits for Jun, does his best in giving suggestion, and adding things that will be useful as they try to bring happiness to their thousands of fans.  
  
It also comes naturally that every time Jun brings a bento in their green room, the younger male shares it with him. It is a given that he loves trying different gourmets and food, and that makes him more thankful because Jun is trusting his opinions and taste palette when it comes to improving the other male’s cooking despite knowing he fails so much when it comes to cooking.  
  
Sho doesn’t admit it but he is overwhelmed with how much Jun trusts him with such things knowing how passionate Jun can be when he is into something. But really, all Sho can say is praises because Jun’s cooking is always the best, just like how Jun is.  
  
Jun has always been good-looking, passionate and sincere. Those are just the few things Sho likes about him. That’s why he is proud when Jun openly said before that Sho is his idol. Even now, he still can’t believe such a wonderful person is admiring him before, and now, he can’t believe how he manage to hurt that  _same wonderful person_  again just because he couldn’t control himself once again.  
  
It happens so fast. One moment, he is heading home to call it a night, and maybe skim through the newspapers he had for additional information he’ll be narrating when Monday comes. He is on his way to get a cab when he passes by their meeting room and finds Jun sitting there alone. Judging how serious Jun’s posture is, hunching whatever it is in the table, Sho knows it is something important.  
  
Without a second thought, he can’t help but pry. That’s when he learns that is Jun staying behind to recheck everything so that their upcoming concert will be flawless. It’s Kokuritsu we’re talking about after all and that means a lot to all of them. The next thing he knows is staying behind too, giving whatever assistance he can offer, and then there’s that connection between them again as their conversation proceeds in a comfortable manner.  
  
It’s feels good when it’s like this. There’s no awkwardness or anything. They just talk about things they think about the upcoming concerts and activities. It isn’t personal but everything just feels normal like nothing has changed between them.  
  
Sho likes to maintain that feeling, so that they can continue on without tension or anything anymore, but in the end, Sho finds himself staring at Jun, in a way he has avoided all this time.  
  
 _“Stunning.”_  Sho thinks.  
  
The moment when Jun turns around to face him, Sho knows Jun has caught him in the act, still he doesn’t pull way. Neither does Jun. No one says another word, just staring at each other, and this will be the first time they  _actually stare at each other for years._  
  
Sho doesn’t falter even if he knows Jun is leaning in, feels the latter’s lips brushing against his. He stiffs at that touch of their lips, but he doesn’t move and just waits. When Jun gives another peck, Sho loses all restrains he has in himself and deepens the kiss their lips connected again. He can only snap out of it a minute later to realize where they are and what they are doing. “Not here…” he warns.  
  
But it is too late already for him to stop. Rather than walking away and think that this never happened, he gathers their things in haste, giving no room for Jun to protest as he grabs the younger male’s hands and leads him to ride a cab after leaving the building.  
  
It feels nostalgic as Sho remembers the night almost two years ago when Jun had brought him in the latter’s home. It is the time when Sho lets himself look at Jun without holding back. He remembers the softness of Jun’s skin under his palm as he gently and carefully touched him, the feel of Jun’s lips when he kisses it, but what remains vivid is when he let himself hold Jun, conveying how precious the latter is to him.  
  
It’s all the same feelings that overwhelm him inside out and Sho just follows his instincts, follows what his heart is saying, and let out all those feelings he had kept inside all of those years.  
  
He hears Jun moans his name, and it’s like music in his ears as Jun rides him in his bed. Jun kisses him like there’s no tomorrow, and he kisses back with so much passion because he knows there won’t be tomorrow. He just takes everything what he can because as selfish as it may sound, that’s all he can have, and he won’t ask for more after this.  
  
As they both release, he feels Jun’s face against the junction between his neck and shoulder. It is damp, and no matter how Jun tries to hide it, Sho can still hear those muffled sobs. Still he doesn’t say anything. He just lays Jun in his back, gets up to get a wash cloth, and cleans him up because that’s all he can do for Jun for now.  
  
After getting himself cleaned too, Sho joins Jun under the covers. Jun’s back is facing him, but he doesn’t mind. He just stares because to know Jun is in front of him is enough already. When he least expects it, Jun turns around, facing him.  
  
He wants to reach out, have Jun’s skin in his grasps again, but all he can do is stare. His heart skips a beat when he sees Jun smiling at him. He can’t help but smile back before closing his eyes. He wants Jun’s smile to be the last thing he sees before he drifts to dreamland.  
  
 _“Will you still love me till morning?”_  
  
He is almost half-asleep when he hears it. His heart weights heavier as each word comes of Jun’s mouth in a broken whisper. Whether Jun says it in his sleep or Jun is still awake, Sho doesn’t find out, keeping his eyes closed in spite of wanting to open it.  
  
 _“Forever and ever,”_  is his wish. It is his answer to Jun’s question but he doesn’t say it out. He doesn’t even have the chance to because when he wakes up the next morning, Jun is gone already.


	3. Chapter 3

When Sho wakes up alone, he knows Jun is gone already. Sho has no protest about it, and all he can do is to stare towards the window as rays of sunlight go through his curtains. A morning should be giving him a warm feeling of a brand new day, but all Sho can feel is the coldness of just another day.  
  
In just one night, they are back where everything started, this so-called set up where everything is nothing. Sho knows pleasure and needs are the only things that can be temporarily satisfied with this, but he doesn't stop himself. No one is stopping them either.  
  
They meet in discreet. From time to time it is in some sleazy love hotel, most of the time happens in closed empty rooms between schedules, and then there are times that it happens in Sho's apartment. For some reason, it never happens in Jun’s.  
  
Sho doesn’t complain about it. Out of respect, he doesn’t try to push it when Jun refuses. He never comes to that place anyways, because if he does, he might stay. It is hurting both of them, but Sho chose to shut his eyes about it.  
  
Every time it happens, Sho hears words in a question. He hears Jun asking him when the latter thinks that he is sleeping already. It hurts him how broken Jun sounded, but then Sho had always been following his resolution because he knows it would be for the better. Despite how much he wanted to just answer Jun, he doesn't. He knows in fulfilling that one wish, things will be complicated.  
  
_Perhaps maybe, it isn’t meant to be fulfilled only by him._  
  
  
  
One night, he ended up asking Nino if he wanted some drink out of the blue. Of course, with a bribe that he would pay for everything, the younger man did agree.  
  
They were in a bar where Sho frequents and as the night stretches long, glass of strong drinks fill Sho to the fullest. Thus, it makes him lose to admission.  
  
“I’m hurting Jun, aren’t I?” Sho asks before gulping down his nth glass of the night, putting it down with a loud thump afterwards.  
  
“Tsk~ why don’t you ask the person himself, Sho-chan?” Nino replies calmly.  
  
“That’s the point, Ninomi! I can’t ask anything from him!” Sho said, looking exasperated with his red cheeks. Tears are already brimming in his eyes. He takes a deep breath before he whispers, “I owe him a lot, and I can’t ask anymore.”  
  
Sho orders another glass when Nino doesn’t say anything. He is about to drink from it, but he stops midway when Nino finally speaks, “No, you don’t just owe him, Sho-chan… both of you owe yourselves.”  
  
Despite the haziness in his mind he starts to feel, Sho still gets what Nino means by it. He puts his glass down and traces the rim of the glass. “I don’t want complications, Nino.” Sho admits. He looks to his side, waiting for Nino to say something back, but all he gets is a hum.  
  
Sho watches as Nino plays with his own glass, tracing the rim of it while staring intently to its contents like it’s the most interesting thing in the word. He sighs in defeat when Nino doesn’t say anything anymore. He asks his self why he invited Nino all of a sudden. He doesn’t even know what he will gain from this.  
  
Maybe it is Nino’s presence that soothes him in this confusing dilemma. Nino is someone who doesn’t hold back when he needs too, knows when to be playful or not in certain situations, and can anchor a person back when everything is shaky. Perhaps he is waiting for Nino to that for him because he knows he can’t do that to himself.  
  
His cup is almost empty and he feels himself lightheaded. Dots can be seen in his vision, and Sho knows he is beyond his limits now. Still he hears Nino when the latter finally speaks.  
  
“I can’t believe you guys are deemed the most level-headed in Arashi.” Nino says in disbelief.  
  
“Huh?” Sho says, still trying to make a conversation when in reality, he can pass out any minute now.  
  
“You two are over-thinking.” Nino deadpans, and for some reason, Sho finds himself nodding to it.  
  
“But the complications Nino… the complications-,” Sho stammers in drunkenness.  
  
“The complications I only see are you two, really.” Nino says without fear or favor.  
  
Sho wants to protest, but everything becomes black, and the only thing that he registers in his mind before passing out is Nino’s words.  
  
_“Complications, my ass.”_  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sho regains consciousness, and he feels lightheaded. He’s sober enough to know that he is lying down on a bed, someone’s bed to be precise because the feel of sheets is different from what he owns. Slowly, the scent he is getting is waking his senses up, and he knows that scent. The first thing in his mind is,  _Damn it, Nino._  
  
He can hear movements, and then footsteps approaching. Sho's eyes widen in the dark but he instantly closes it when he feels the owner of the footsteps is close by. Sho wills his self to relax because he knows he isn't ready to face the owner of this apartment, the owner he knows so well.  
  
And then he feels the bed dips as another weight adds in front of him. He is lying sideways, and judging how a soft puffs of breathes is caressing his face, he knows the owner of the apartment is mirroring his position. He feels the hand softly pressed against his cheeks, and Sho can't hold it any longer, putting his own hand above the other’s own hand.  
  
When Sho opens his eyes, he is eye to eye with the youngest member, Jun, who doesn't flinch when he is caught staring. Sho's eyes are hazy due to the effects of alcohol, but he can comprehend enough to know that Jun is there, and he can't help but be dazzled once again with Jun's splendor.  
  
Once again, Sho is reminded again about that night when everything started, the very first time he let his walls down and really look at Jun. He was 23, and Jun was a year younger. He remembers that it is the first night he has hurt Jun too, and maybe his self too for not being honest.  
  
“Will you still love me till morning?”  
  
Sho can’t believe that Jun will ask him this openly, but at the same, he does in some point. This is Jun after all and the younger male has always been honest especially when there’s that spark in the determination in his eyes. Sho wonders if he can do the same too. There are a lot of complications that is entitled to happen once everything is out in the open, and Sho is afraid.  
  
“I can’t promise you anything Jun… no ma-,”  
  
Sho stops when he sees Jun shaking his head. He feels Jun’s thumb rubbing against his cheek. Sho is comforted by it, making his eyes to close as he nuzzles against the warmth of Jun’s palm. His hold on Jun’s hand tightens, and instead of replying, Sho decided that in being honest, it’s shouldn’t only be said but be done too. He leans in and captures Jun’s lips in an intense lip lock as he places his self on top of Jun.  
  
Sho isn’t holding back anymore, and he can feel Jun doesn’t too. As clothes have been discarded, they rediscover their bodies as they look at each other with their real feelings. No more walls and no more pretending. They just let their feelings fill the distance they have made before, and mend the broken pieces that years of denying have crushed.  
  
Sho feels whole again when penetrates Jun, hears Jun moaning his name like a mantra, and holds him closer. Even in the middle of tangled of limbs, he finds Jun’s right hand, and grabs hold of it. He gives it a kiss before pushing inside the latter as his pace picks up.  
  
They are looking at each other’s eyes when they release their loads. Sho waits when Jun is finally looking at him, and when he gets the latter’s attention, soft but yielding he says, “I love you.”  
  
They are catching their breaths as they return to their positions before with both lying sideways, and facing each other. Sho closes his eyes because everything is becoming blurry. He needs to stable his eyesight first, and fight the effects of the alcohol, but he hears it when Jun asks, “Will you still love me till morning?”  
  
Sho opens his eyes and look at Jun, honest and unafraid. He answers, “Forever and ever.”  
  
Sho sees tears in Jun’s eyes, and he may cry too at any moment. It isn't out of sadness though. It's the exact opposite. He holds Jun instead, leaning his forehead against Jun’s as he softly rock their bodies. Slowly, he can feel dreamland taking him, but he knows once he wakes up, there is a morning for the two of them. He just holds Jun tighter and closer.  
  
When Sho wakes up, he is alone in the bed, but he isn’t worried as he heard the sound of rustles and movements coming from another room. The smell of coffee is floating around the apartment as Sho wore his boxers. He walks out of the bedroom and proceeds to the kitchen where he found Jun making breakfast already. He knows Jun is aware of his presence, and Sho only wants to have the younger male close.  
  
“Morning,” Sho whispers against Jun’s ears after he wounds his arms around the latter’s waist. His hold tightens as he plants a kiss on Jun’s shoulder.  
  
He leans his head in Jun’s shoulder to hide a fond smile as remembers the one wish he had that morning when everything started, his always wish every since then that he doesn’t want to indulge before. Sho finds it isn’t a wish he has to fulfill by himself, but it is a wish he and Jun will fulfill together. It is starting with the way he holds Jun in his arms like he is the precious most precious thing in the world.  
  
_Sho isn’t promising anything, still it doesn’t mean that it can’t be the beginning in which everything just clicks to its places._


End file.
